If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. For free, confidential support 24 hours a day, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Online sessions · Healing Days in Shrewsbury
If you’ve spent years walking on eggshells, doubting yourself, or feeling like you’ve lost touch with who you are, I understand how exhausting that is.
I’m a CPD-accredited Narcissistic Abuse Specialist and somatic trauma-informed coach. I support people to make sense of what happened, reconnect with their own voice, and rebuild trust in themselves, at a pace that feels safe.
Narcissistic abuse is a term people use for a pattern of emotional manipulation and control in a relationship, often by a partner, parent, friend or colleague with strong narcissistic traits. It can include criticism, blame, gaslighting, silent treatment, and cycles of affection followed by withdrawal.
It often happens gradually, which is why many people only recognise it later. You don’t need to be certain about labels to get support.
Doubting your own memory, judgement or feelings
Feeling on edge, anxious, or unable to switch off
Losing touch with who you are and what you want
Blaming yourself, or trying to work out what you did wrong
Finding it hard to trust others, or yourself
Feeling drained, or stuck replaying what happened
A trauma bond is a powerful emotional attachment that can form in a relationship where harm is mixed with moments of affection, apology or relief. It’s one of the main reasons people stay in, or return to, relationships they know are hurting them.
Much of this happens in the body, not just the mind. During conflict, criticism or silent treatment, your nervous system goes into survival mode, flooding your body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When the warmth returns, the relief can feel enormous, and is thought to involve the brain’s reward and bonding chemicals, such as dopamine and oxytocin. Over time, your body can learn to link the same person with both danger and comfort.
That’s why knowing something isn’t good for you often isn’t enough to walk away, or to stop thinking about them once you have. It isn’t a weakness or a lack of willpower. It’s your nervous system doing what it learned to do to get through.
Somatic work helps you notice these patterns as they show up in your body, and gently build a sense of safety that doesn’t depend on the other person.
“You are deserving of healthy relationships. Safe connections change everything.”
Ruth
Long periods of walking on eggshells can leave your nervous system on high alert, even after the relationship has ended. Somatic coaching works with your body as well as your thoughts, so we can notice those responses and build practical tools to help you feel calmer and safer.
We also look at the patterns of behaviour you experienced, so they make more sense, and work on rebuilding your sense of self-worth and your trust in your own judgement. Where it’s helpful, I bring in Brainspotting, parts work and hypnotherapy.
Online
Six 60-minute sessions by video call, usually weekly. You can join from anywhere in the UK or the world.
In person · Shrewsbury
A full, private day of focused work in Shrewsbury, with room hire, lunch and refreshments included, and a Personalised Narcissistic Abuse Trauma Unlocking™ Workbook to take home.
Every programme is tailored to you, so fees depend on what you need. I’ll talk you through the options on your free call.
“Being in a long term relationship with someone with covert narcissistic tendencies had left me depleted, unsure of who I am and not knowing which way to turn but, Ruth has been so reassuring and has helped me to see and understand the patterns of behaviour with more clarity.”
S.D., client story · Read more client stories
I’m a somatic trauma-informed coach and CPD-accredited Narcissistic Abuse Specialist, based in Shrewsbury, Shropshire. I work with clients online across the UK and internationally, and in person for Healing Days.
You deserve relationships where you feel safe, where you’re not second-guessing everything, and where there’s no question that you matter.
BSc (Hons) Psychology · ICF and CPD accredited somatic trauma-informed coaching certification · Brainspotting Practitioner, Phase 3 · Somatic Experiencing, Foundation Level · Certified Hypnotherapist (American Board of Hypnotherapy) · CPD accredited Narcissistic Abuse Specialist · Internal Family Systems (IFS) educated
No. Some people come to me while they’re still in the relationship, some after it has ended, and some years later. We start from wherever you are.
No. Many people aren’t sure what to call what happened. We focus on your experience and how it’s affecting you now, rather than on labels or diagnosing anyone.
No. I offer trauma-informed coaching, which can work alongside counselling, psychotherapy or medical care. If I feel another kind of support would help you more, I’ll say so.
Yes. All sessions are completely confidential.
Yes, through a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Healing Day in Shrewsbury, Shropshire. One-to-one sessions are online.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. In the UK you can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, free and 24 hours a day, on 0808 2000 247.
The first call is free, confidential and takes 30 minutes. Choose a time below, or email ruth@thesomatichealingcoach.com or call 07920 424736.
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Every Sunday I'll send you practical, science-informed tools, reflections and simple exercises to help you feel calmer, build self-worth and understand yourself more deeply.